Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Jurassic World

My thoughts during Jurassic World, there might be spoilers, I don't know yet.

-Remember when the eggs hatching had animatronics inside? Those were the days.
-Where's Chris Pratt?
-I feel like this kid is Andy and this is the scene in Toy Story where they move.
-My doppleganger! (Judy Greer)
-Wow, my doppleganger plays moms now.
-Where are they sending these kids by themselves?
-Oh yeah, a park with DINOSAURS.
-That's a YELLOW house.
-Teenage romance is gross.
-Where's Chris Pratt?
-Accurate airport good bye where you can basically drop them off at the curb.
-Hey! Jeff Goldblum's book!
-Marital problems from Jurassic Park III, yeah, weren't great then either.
-I feel like creating a file on an iPad with the children's names all fancy like to hold at the dock for them takes more time than using a white board like everyone else.
-Wait, is Keira Knightely the children's babysitter?
-Theme Music!!! Yay! More more! I wan't more!
-Yay! More theme music!
-Where's Chris Pratt?
-Hold up, are Bryce Howard and Judy Greer sisters again?! yusssssss
-Bryce Howard's costume feels like future nurse where they throw back to old timey white uniforms, but like streamlined with ugly belts.
-Women with bobs this straight and perfect have to keep a brush in their purse, but this woman has no purse, nor pockets. Where does she even keep her phone?
-Yes, those are ridiculous shoes, I know all the stuff people have said about them.
-Where's Chris Pratt?
-This movie brought to you by product placement.
-BD Wong!!! (90 minutes later I realize he was in fact in the first one, I'm sharp.)
-This scene brought to you by Starbucks.
-Nick from New Girl!
-Nick from New Girl also has Jeff Goldblum's book!
-Guy from Bollywood Millionaire! What was that movie called? Danny Boyle directed it...
-Where's Chris Pratt?
-Oh! He talked ab Christ Pratt! He has to be coming up soon, right?
-There he is! With RAPTORS! His shirt coordinates with the raptors.
-That guy! From MIB and Criminal Intent and Adventures in Babysitting! Martha knows who I'm talking about! He's got an Italian name, like Anthony (90 minutes later I remember his name is Vincent D'onofrio).
-Not Chris Pratt evil military guy wears his knife all upsy downsy, that's weird, and seems inefficient.
-Chris Pratt wears his knife horizontal. Atta-boy.
-Chris Pratt's costume is everything. Like HEY! I'm SO COOL and not trying hard, but can you see how COOL I am and how hard I'm NOT trying?
-The raptor feeder boy looks like the cabin boy from the new King Kong (played by Jamie Bell), in that he looks like he should be at sea with that ridiculous beanie.
-Wait, did cabin boy break his leg? Why is he crawling?
-You can train me to answer to clicks, Chris Pratt...does his character have a name? Oh yeah, Owen, like my nephew, nope, calling him Chris Pratt.
-This scene brought to you by Mercedes.
-This scene also brought to you by those glass Coke bottles no one actually buys.
-Motorcycles and that muscle that's like where your armpit and your shoulder blade meet. These things should always costar in Chris Pratt scenes.
-That henley though.
-Hehe, bungalow.
-So...their relationship is based off a bad first date? She's really a great grudge keeper.
-CONTROL. The high powered female lead is OF COURSE flawed by being controlling, which in women is TERRIBLE and makes them undesirable shrews.
-Haha, Jimmy Fallon.
-I don't think those gyro things will ever be a good idea.
-How do people not get lost in the middle of that field?
-Turned off her body heat, clever girl.
-Poor overweight security guard. Somehow everyone else (besides raptor feeder) on this island is a Navy Seal and they let you guard the She-Devilasauraus.
-Let the gratuitous eating begin!
-This movie brought to you by capitalism. I could get angry at all the product placement, but let's be honest, this whole film's thesis is about sponsorship and corporate funding.
-Wow, ok, those special ops guys got real dead, like fast. Nice move showing how gratuitous all this is with those life monitor screens.
-This is kind of where my stream of consciousness just gets eaten up by jump scares and these thoughts might be out of order.
-Nice nod to the old movie with sign in the lobby of the original building and all that. For about a minute I was taken back to how awesome all those scenes were.
-Making my clothes sexier will always make my shoes more sensible.
-Also, running through jungles in humidity makes my perfectly straight hair turn into perfectly barrel curled waves too.
-Everyone seems to have internal GPS on this island and everything, regardless of terrane, is super easy to get to.
-Where did Keira Knightley go?
-Are Pterodactyls even carnivores?
-Do they starve all these dinosaurs so much that they automatically pick off anything that moves?
-Oh wow, oh wow, ok. Before just some special ops people got killed now we're picking off the common man from waves of panic hoards.
-There's Keira Knightley, oh, oh no. Oh gosh. Why? Why oh why? What? Really? You're going to toss her around. Seriously, WOW. That, wow, that was a lot.
-I feel like that kiss falls under the type of romance created in Speed. This can't possibly go well when you're not all hot and bothered bc you're both using guns.
-And nighttime. Nighttime always comes, and it's always scary.
-Motorcycles, like Harleys in the jungle, seem about as workable as her shoes.
-BD Wong, you son of a gun, why did you put raptor in the She Devil?
-Wait, why did that raptor explode? Did the She Beast throw it into a hibachi restaurant?
-Why is any of this happening?
-How has Ginger not lost her shoes in the muddy jungle, NOR slipped on super smooth and wet surfaces
-Two adults, two children in the courtyard of the park with raptors and a (not) T-Rex, seems familiar.
-T-REX!! Yay! Hey there big girl, time to do some work!
-Uh...well T-Rex is down.
-Yeah, Ginger has elastic straps on her shoes. They've been pretty good ab not showing their tricks, but they're definitely there and picking up all the mud.
-Yay! Raptor, wait, a raptor and a T-Rex save the day? That's great, but I feel like they'd still need more than that.
-Oh! Free Willy Dinosaur's going to, yep, there ya go. Done.
-Wait, why were the raptors. Charlie, Delta, Echo, and BLUE. Not Bravo? Oh, ok. Whatever.
-Ignoring the refugee scene, bc it was just so dumb.

Basically this sums up the movie for me (this is not mine, I found it online a few days ago):

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Product Review: AMAZING Younique Mascara


My friend Karen Teuscher is a Younique consultant and sent me their Moonstruck 3D Fiber Lashes to try and it's AMAZING. 
Look here for product, buy from link below.

I don't have great lashes, but I don't have bad lashes either. They're just kind of not there when I don't have mascara on and are pretty normal when I do. BUT THIS STUFF. Just look...

with and without

The process is in three steps. There's a black gel that's a super fancy mascara that the stick fibers to. The fibers are in another tube and go on like you'd put mascara, then the gel is put on again to seal the fibers. It's SO easy!

You can see how much longer and fuller my lashes are! I figured when I got this I'd use it for special occasions but I wear it every day now. I've cried with it on and it's great! I've danced and sweated for hours with it on and my lashes got a bit clumpy, but I think most mascaras would.

I'm super low maintenance when it comes to make up removal, so I just use a wipe and I will say it does take a little more doing to remove the fibers than normal mascara, but not enough to turn me off.

The gel sticks to skin more than my usual mascara, so if you get it on your fingers or your brow, you work a bit to get it off. Again, not enough to turn me off.

Application can take some finessing, meaning the fibers are little pieces of, duh, fiber, and you need to distribute them evenly and coat them well with the gel, but this is an observation, not a condemnation.

At $30 for a three month supply I figured I'd use this sample and be done and suggest that you buy this if you have the money, but that as a grad student I probably wouldn't get worked up about putting it into my budget. I'll probably be singing a different tune in a few months. THIS STUFF IS GREAT.

My friend Dom yesterday stopped me mid sentence to tell me how amazing my lashes look.

Should you try this stuff? YES. If you purchase from Karen I could get a bit (yes, of course I do, so do it!)

Go HERE https://www.youniqueproducts.com/KarenTeuscher/presenter/myparties and buy this stuff. It is great.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

How I'm going to stay sane...

I just started Grad School Year Two. The worst! This is the year people gain 50 pounds, or lose 50 pounds, or lose their hair, or gain a therapist (no shame, just saying). It has very great potential to be very very rough. And Grad School Year One had such harrowing experiences as Pneumonia! Snowed In! All The Late Night Sewing In The Land! Wicked Tendonitis! I've already had such lovely Year Two experiences as Build a Vest in a Day! Stay Late On Friday of a Three Day Weekend Sewing for Saturday! Spending First Saturday On a Film Shoot!

So...what am I going to do about it? Take care of myself physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

YOGA! I do yoga, on DailyBurn.com
I do yoga first thing in the morning because if I don't, I won't. I've done this for a week and my achey hips feel better and my tendonitis doesn't seem as bad.
Also, food. I'm going to eat it, three times a day. This was a resolution from last year of undergrad, and it's a good one.

SCRIPTURE STUDY! after yoga? 30 minutes of Isaiah.
Also, Institute every Wednesday night.
Also, church, every week and all the things.

NO MEN, for the semester, at least. Having a partner would make all this much easier, but I've been realizing that for the past two years the ups and downs of searching for a partner have not been great for my emotional health. I need a break. I'm on a boy diet. Not looking, not interested, leave me alone, but let's be friends!
Hobbies! I got a Kindle so I can read! And I'll go to derby and do other social things.
Friends! I have them, I love them, I want to be better friends with them. Old friends, new friends, friends are where it's at!

So that's the plan, and don't worry men of the world, maybe I'll get back in the spirit when I graduate and have more time to deal with the shenaniganery of dating.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Why I'm attractive 4.0

I have natural french tipped nails and give amazing back scratches.
I've helped dry wall a ceiling.
My hair is the softest.
I hem pants like it's my job, bc it is my job.
I can type so fast.
I make pancakes in bulk.
I'm not scared of the dark, or heights.
Cleaning kitchen floors relaxes me.
I grew up watching WWII movies and so can speak intelligently about The Dirty Dozen, Great Escape, Patton, etc etc.

Other reasons all me should be in love with me can be found here.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

In case you were wondering..

about my life right now.

-I finished my first year of grad school.
-Our sleepy little summer shop put up and took down Next To Normal and it was phenomenal.
-Laura and I built two jackets for the Utah Shakespeare Festival. I'm sad not to be in Cedar for the summer for the first time in four years! but I've loved learning from Laura and watching all the movies while we tailor and I think of my lovely USFers often.
-I've been discovering beautiful PA! The woods around these parts are beautiful and I've gone walking and hiking alone and with friends recently. Sublime.
-I leave for London in two weeks! I'm so busy with work that I've barely had time to turn my mind to it! I am getting excited though! I'm doing my project on Beau Brummell and so am reading a biography and studying up on Savile Row. It will be amazing!

Other than that, I keep on keeping on as the independent, professional, LDS woman that I am! Life is pretty good. I want for very little. 

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Square Toed Shoes

these are worse
than these
but these are the worst

just wear round brogues and make me happy. 
I like this guy's opinion "Wear Round Toed Shoes"
and this guy's list "11 Out-of-Style Trends You Should Phase Out of Your Wardrobe"

all of this reminds me that I need to get back to my shoe book...which will certainly be very biased and contain no square toed shoes...or I'll have a blerb in the back for other, inferior toe varieties. 

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Sherlock: His Last Vow

:::Yes, I did burn what I was crockpotting bc I couldn't spare the time to turn it down during the episode.
:::That buxom Scottish vixen. I felt bad at first, then terrible, then not so bad anymore
:::I TOLD YOU Mary was a bad guy, or rather I hoped she wouldn't be...and she technically wasn't?
:::If I ever get shot I don't think my mind palace will save me, but perhaps my love for Martin Freeman will.
:::People are arguing that CBS's Elementary is more human and likable and has more room to grow, but if getting more glimpses into Sherlock's crazy childhood mind palace sociopathy and then having him kill a man to make John's life better isn't human I don't know what is. And then accepting an assignment whose goal is to kill him isn't loyalty and love, I don't know what is.
:::I have a TV with bad sound and picture so I understood almost nothing that was whispered, nor could read anything Magnussen remembered so I'll definitely have to rewatch this.
:::So...Sherlock's no longer "The Virgin"? I mean...
:::Will The Woman come back? Her episode might still be my favorite...for entertainment value. This one ranks second for emotional damage after Fall.
:::I felt bad for Martin, I mean John...so so bad. I was absolutely heartbroken, but then somehow everything turned and I don't feel bad any more? Well done boys.
:::Martin Freeman is perfection. I know Cumberbatch does well too, but I mean, come on.
:::A real Cumberbatch Christmas!
:::I thought the Rolodexes were fishy...
:::Will we ever know what "Red Beard" is?

I have no idea how this show can sustain itself bc the stakes don't seem to be able to get any higher, but I have faith in Mark and Steven.