Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Application to Court Me



Are you Mormon?

If no, would you like to talk to some friends of mine?

Degree(s) acquired:


On a scale of Tom Cruise to Will Smith, how important is it that you're taller than me?


Languages you speak:

Number of children desired:

Which Bluth chicken impression do you most identify with?

On a scale of Kenneth Parcel to Jack Donaghy how awesome are you?

Do you wear black and navy together?

Do you wear pleated pants?

Can you tie your own tie?

Do you prefer a full Windsor or a half Windsor?

Complete the following sentence: "Go Big _____"

On a scale of "uncontrolled blushing" to "popping out cartoon eyes" how do you feel about the fact that I get strangers real naked real fast in the dark?

What was the last play and/or musical you saw?

How often do you wear flip flops? (circle one) NEVER    SOMETIMES   ALWAYS/I'M TOO LAZY TO WEAR REAL SHOES

Do you know how to train dogs?

On a scale of Bob Ewel to Atticus Finch how good of a father are you/do you see yourself being?

Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Which character from The Great Escape are you? The Sandlot? Downton Abbey?

What are your thoughts on Uma Thurman?

When in a museum do you?
a)     just use the bathroom and leave
b)     browse the exhibits, reading what is interesting
c)     read everything there is to read

Word association:
          diapers  ________
          laundry  ________
          vacuum  ________
          Russell Crowe  ________

On a scale of Errol Flynn to Tom Selleck, rank your moustache growing ability.

Have you ever kicked a door down?

Write me a poem, haikus not accepted.

What’s your favorite book?

What’s your first memory?

What’s your favorite Doctor Who episode?

Which of these numbers makes you most uncomfortable? 28, 17, 65

In your opinion is Peter Pan a delightful imp or unfeeling kidnapper?

Are you punctual?

I was the prettiest newborn ever, TRUE or TRUE

On a scale of MILK to MELK, how Utah is your accent?

Superman or Batman?

What percentage of pre 2003 episodes of The Simpsons have you seen?

Which Disney pet are you?

Do you have grey in your hair and/or beard?

Do you grow a red beard?

Do you have dimples?

On a scale of Javert to Valjean describe your feelings on redemption.

Please spell the following phonetically:
Christian Lacroix

What song would you dedicate to me at karaoke?

If you and your roommates found a baby on your doormat would hilarity ensue?

What are your feelings on star gazing?

What is your spirit animal?

Please facebook message, email, or deliver this application in person with an autographed self portrait of yourself. If submitting a hard copy please print legibly and spray your cologne of choice on the application a la Legally Blonde


  1. This IS great, Shelb! My favorite is, "On a scale of MILK to MELK, how Utah is your accent?" People in Utah also say MELL instead of MAIL/MALE and also E-MELL instead of EMAIL. Weirdos, I tell ya! Good luck! (Now we will want to see the applications as they come in!)

  2. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!