Tuesday, November 22, 2011

trendi: beards

With two of my very good man friends now sporting beards I thought it an appropriate time to discuss them. Now it might just be that beards have been almost non existent in the last four years of my life, but I find a well trimmed beard rather dashing and distinguished. I personally prefer a shorter beard than one the length of  Mr. Beard himself Zach Galifianakis, but his is indeed well trimmed.
In general these are the characteristics of an ideal beard...

- is of an even consistency aka not  mottled or splotchy
- has "the connection" between mustache and beard. While this is not always a necessity it is very much the preference.
- is well trimmed= no neck growth (that's scruff, not beard), no creeping onto the cheeks, well defined beard lines
- is short to medium in length, Mr. Galifianakis is a bit long for me. If your beard has started to curl, it's too long
- is well conditioned: a beard is hair men, it needs to be washed and conditioned appropriately

I realize that an "ideal" beard may be out of the genetic grasp of some men, for this I am sorry, but that was the hand you were dealt.
a bit too long, but wellkempt nonetheless. 

Mr. Quinto walks a fine line between beard and scruff. At any rate he's got too much neck growth.
Why yes Mr. Efron, you are beautiful, but you have neither "the connection" nor adequate or consistent coverage.
Mr. Levi, near perfect. Just needs a neck touch up.
Now, while nothing is technically wrong with Prince William's beard he sadly falls into the "just doesn't look good with a beard" category.
Mr. Clooney, perfect.
One more thing, if you have hair other than red and you grow a red beard 5 points. I have a huge soft spot for men with red beards and currently have a mental list of celebrities and friends that grow ginger beards. Want to freak a guy out? If he has red sideburns ask him if he grows a red beard, for some reason they never think that you can tell by their sideburns.

Ginger sideburns...
ginger beard. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that Fassbender dyes his hair and is in reality a ginger.

So, the verdict on beards, Yay oder Nay? Yay when the above rules are adhered to, otherwise NAY! (think Brad Pitt's beards, blech).

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