Sunday, December 18, 2011

too horrible by half: pleated pants

I know I've blogged about my love for flat front pants, but I don't think I've harped enough on the amount of shuddering pleated pants causes in my soul. The average man should just not wear them, especially at my age. A fit young man has no business in pleated pants, even if "my mom does all my shopping" (true story, actual excuse).
just so so bad, and the belt doesn't help!
You might say: I like the room! boo, get over it. Only people who live in board shorts can't get over any other type of pant.

You might say: I need the room! There's no way a trouser is so constrictive that you need pleats for everyday. If you are a giant thighed dancer that needs the room, I will give you pleats, I do give you pleats, but if you're just going about not doing sports in your trousers you don't need the room. If you still fight me on this I am seriously shocked and we can discuss other solutions to your problem, but you won't like them.
Cary Grant looks great in pleats, you don't. Also, the shoes.
You might say: Cary Grant rocked the pleats! He was a) Cary Grant and he is b) dead. Yeah, I said it. Pleats are a thing of the past. At many points in time they were the be all end all in mens trousers, but they're not fashionable right now. Get over it. For White Christmas that I recently worked on we put Bob in quite a few amazing period pleated pants that made him look super handsome, but they were for a man from the 50s. You, I assume, are alive now and shouldn't want pleated pants.
now those are pleats. 1934
Also a thing with pleated pants is that they're always the fall back Wal-mart variety which are just awful anyway. Inevitably they're too long and puddle because they don't get hemmed and the men wear them too low.  It's just gross, I hate them, so so much.

I've seen some blogs with some uber stylish European type men in very deliberate and well tailored pleated pants and I can almost give them that, and might for some, but I still prefer flat fronts and I'll give you three wishes if you can make me concede my preference. I dare you.


  1. You made me laugh so hard. lol

    Now I want some good pics of not pleated pants.

    Suit pants...are they always pleated?

  2. You ruined me. I never noticed the difference, but ever since you talked about Mark Mathews in flat front pants, that's ALL I notice at church on Sundays.