Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Golden Globes: The bad and the ugly

A'ight, here's what I didn't like...I was surprised by how many there are because even though I have very strong opinions I usually don't actually judge too harshly, but you asked for it. Most of my grievances are for proportion and fit issues on dresses that could have been brilliant.

Elle MacPherson, entirely too much going on, puckering at crotch, bad jewelry choice, unflattering proportions, tulle is disjointed from the rest of the gown.
Freida Pinto usually wows me so much. I love her necklace and the material of this gown, but the waist is too high and the tiny ribbon needs to either go or be much more substantial.
Miss Fashion Police herself, Giuliana Rancic. She just has always kind of freaked me out. She is too overworked as a person and this gown is just a disaster.
I don't know why Guliana Rancic wore two gowns, but both were terrible. The high necked thing and extra junk didn't work for either gown, the styling is also a train wreck.
Oh Jessica Biel. Your head is nothing special and your body is unflattered and awkward. The gown is a bad color, cut and material.
I mostly just want Julianna Margulies' chest to look perkier. I feel like boobs in general were sorely neglected at the Globes this year. Since when is it formal wear to tape them down? I also have no idea what the material of this gown is, but it's not doing anyone any favors. Modest yes, flattering NO.
Again a Fashion policeperson in a dud. This gown is to die for and absolutely stunning in and of itself. On a petite girl like Kelly Osbourne it's terrible. I love a good structural piece, but the dress is just too much for Osbourne, and did no one think to hem it appropriately? I'm a sucker for 6" horsehair hems, but they need to be watched so as to not buckle.
Missi Pyle, while the foundation's color is not the greatest it's nothing to scoff at, however the cheap golden tulle over skirt and flower is. Hem length is also off.
Naya Rivera, a center front seam needs to be oh so carefully selected and in this case it should not have been. And where's the rest of the shaping? If it was supposed to be just a tube I could have lived with it sans center front seam. With the seam you get the feeling you need more. The hem and small train is divine though.
Oh Piper Perabo. I had to look up an interview to see why on earth every picture of her in this dress has her doing something dumb with the skirt. Apparently she just thought it was so great that it was nylon! So great she couldn't just let it be. I'm actually a fan of the color, and the skirt, just leave it the freak alone and wear a bra! 2012 at the Globes was not a good time to be a boob apparently.

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